When I was a little girl, I couldn’t wait for the new big department store catalogs to come in the mail twice a year. Do you remember those? I would spend hours going through them dreaming about the future when I would be a mom. Page after page I would pick out baby items and furniture, joy would flood my heart at the thought of becoming a mother one day.
As a little girl I dreamed about the highlights of my future, kind of like a movie. I only thought about the preview. But we all know in a good movie there is a plot, there is conflict, drama, laughter and even tears. No one really prepares us for the reality side of motherhood.
We can feel so overwhelmed by the demands and details of daily life that we default into survival mode. I know, I was there. In 2001, we had just moved to a new city 12 hours away from any family, I was pregnant and we had 3 kiddos, soon to be 4 kiddos under 5 years of age. I was desperate to find and feel the joy that flooded my heart as a little girl when I dreamed about motherhood. My life was desperate. I was overwhelmed. I was stressed out and completely unprepared.
My dreams of motherhood as a child never included managing 3 asthmatic kiddos, midnight runs to the emergency room alone, diagnoses of ADHD, Tourette’s Syndrome and multiple other ailments, my parents divorcing, postpartum depression and zero support system. I never dreamed about my husband’s job requiring him to travel and leave me every week, allowing him to only be home on the weekends. I never imagined I would walk through 5 miscarriages and lay on an ultrasound table alone while the doctor searches for my baby or waiting in the hospital ready for emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy while my husband was catching an emergency flight home. I’ve also walked the paths of homeschooling, fostering and adoption.
If you’re like I was and find yourself walking some challenging paths as a mom, you’re in the right place. Welcome! Together – We laugh. We Cry. We love…and we survive! ❤